


Broken Glass

by WhoopDoopItsMagic



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 900 words for a drabble we're laughing, Angst, Help, M/M, Phan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2015-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-30 11:40:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5162570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhoopDoopItsMagic/pseuds/WhoopDoopItsMagic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They look perfect, their lives look perfect. Perfect people don't have problems, let alone feelings. Who would dare to say so.</p><p> </p><p>Angst, and a heartbroken Phil.</p><p>ficlet at 1am don't kill me</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Glass

It's the moment that he see Dan with her that he can't function.

The feeling is inevitable, like his insides are being turned inside out, like his brain is fogging up like the lens of his glasses. It's as if he can almost feel the shattering of his heart pulsing through his eardrums. 

He blinks, innocently, it's like he's in an anime, except there's no one to save him from this mess he's in, because this is real life, and happy endings are almost never happy.

Phil should've known it was going to happen sometime. Dan was going to have someone else someday. He just didn't think it would be so soon. But who is he kidding, Phil has to grow up. Stop pretending to be the man-child that they think he is, because if he was who they see him as, this would've never happened. They look perfect, their lives look perfect. Perfect people don't have problems, let alone feelings. Who would dare to say so.

It's only now he notices the scene around him. Down by the river. There are families and children and the sky is dark grey. The water hits the side of the concrete of the barrier separating the park from the river, and Phil thinks he might just jump over it at some point. It's barely a park. A single lonely tree standing in the middle of the place, with a small circle of synthetic grass surrounding it. Children are playing, and this concrete jungle is closing in, making him feel small, even though he's 6 feet tall. 

Dan's walking closer to him, and he's smiling. It's a nice smile, his dimple showing on his cheek, and it does reach his eyes, lighting the auburn colour up like a sunset. She's smiling, too, he's got his arm around her shoulder and Cat looks lovely. It's only then when Phil realises that they are in public. Dan's smiling, Cat's smiling, and everyone is smiling, and Phil just can't understand why. 

His insides are failing, his eyes are blinking quickly, and Phil's doing anything to not come off like he's upset. Because really, he's not. He's just...disappointed. And angry. And in a state of disbelief. 

Just at the perfect time, too. Phil curses for his stupid timing, always getting in the goddamn way, and why can't he do anything right? His love for Dan was like a terminal illness, slowly creeping in, ignored, until it finally strikes, and it's too late to find a cure, it's falling in a downward spiral. Phil was falling, he's hit the ground, and the ground is hard. He trusted Dan with his heart. Place it carefully in his hands the first time he said "I love you.". Phil trusted him, he really did. 

His whole body won't move, and he's stuck like a wax figure. Phil only realises Dan's talking when he sees his lips move.  
"Phil, are you alright?" Dan moves a hand towards him, placing it firmly on his shoulder. Cat looks fatigued, brow furrowing.  
"Phil, you're pale as snow!"  
"I've always been pale." He's snaps back, and god where did that come from? He wasn't the one to snap, to shoot remarks back in people's faces. But here he is. And he's gone from heartbreak to emotionless husk in about .5 of a second.

Because this isn't about him. This is about Dan, and Cat, and their relationship which he had heard about but never lived to see until now, and Phil wishes he hadn't. It isn't about him, this is about Dan. When is it never about Dan.

"It's just...you look-" Cat tries to get out, obviously still shocked at being snapped at by the "most innocent man in existence".  
"I'm fine." And that tone is back again, and he's snapping again, and Phil doesn't really care anymore.  
"Phil, are you-" Dan tries as well, his eyes almost as big as saucers, because he's never seen Phil like this and what is going on with him?  
"I said I'm fine, are you fucking deaf?" He's swearing now, and that's a bad sign. A real bad sign.  
"Well, Jesus, Phil. Calm your tits. I was just asking if you were okay. I just wanted the truth. I know when you're lying." Phil's going to explode with his emotions and he knows it.  
"You just want the truth? Well the truth is I hate you. I hate you. And I hope you know that." His hand is tucked by his side, trying so hard not to sock him in the mouth.  
"What is your problem?!" Dan looks outraged, and Cat is giving him evil eyes from his side, tightening her grip on his arm.  
"You're my problem. And I hate you." Turning on his heel, he just walks. Away from everything. Away from Dan and Cat. Away from all the dreams he could've had, maybe if he'd stuck around just a bit longer. But it doesn't matter anymore, nothing does. 

Except when he slips his key under the front door that afternoon as he leaves, the house empty. 

But the truth is, Phil hopes Dan sees that key. He hopes Dan picks it up and thinks of all the memories they had, all the things that could've been. Phil hopes he's a mess that night, because that's the least he can do.

Phil's convinced, it wasn't love. It was hell, just with a heavenly twist.

**Author's Note:**

> Woah! It was 1am don't blame me.
> 
> Also based slightly off of this - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag2THZKnwfE. Go to 7:30-8:10 for the main part!


End file.
